Why I Started This Site

You might ask why I started this website and blog. Well, this is the honest answer. Sometimes I get a crazy idea in my head, such as (1) go to UNC instead of MIT; (2) quit my top 2 PhD program even though I’m doing well in it; or (3) start a website for people to heal from some of life’s deepest pain and suffering through the power of storytelling. These are all very crazy ideas. They don’t make sense logically, and yet, I felt completely compelled to make them. I didn’t hesitate when I made these decisions; I pursued these decisions with a passion. Why? Why do I do a lot of what I do? I don’t have to think about this because I know immediately the answer, but I always hesitate in talking about it because it seems cliché in my world, and the second I bring it up, I feel as though no one but those who completely agree with me will be okay with what I say next. I feel this way because I have a lot of people in my life who I love so much and believe differently than I do, and I don’t want to scare them away from everything that I do. I don’t want to persuade anyone to believe what I believe. I just want to share what I believe so that people can understand a little more about what makes me tick. When I made each of the decisions above, the process started with me having a crazy idea but not being able to shake it. I would think about this idea and decide that I want to go for it with no real reason why. If it made no logical sense but I was enthralled with it, then to me that meant something. I’m a very logical person, and if what I want to do is not logical or at least fun, then I know that something is not me. I think it’s coming from something bigger than me that has a grander plan. At this point, I’m sure you realize that I’m talking about God, which to me is listening to the Holy Spirit within myself and following the ways of Jesus knowing that he has a plan for all of the awful things that have happened to me. I think the 3 decisions that I made above were all critical parts of that plan because all of them were extremely clear to me and yet made no sense logically. (1) When I was looking at UNC and MIT as colleges, you would think that the choice is clear. These two schools are not generally mentioned in the same sentence, so why would I be considering both of them, let alone choose UNC. Well, I just didn’t like MIT, and I fell in love with UNC. It was the culture I suppose, but I made my decision so quickly when visiting MIT, that I’m not sure you can say that culture was the reason. I think it was something bigger than that. UNC worked out really well because they have a top 15 Chemistry department, and I was the valedictorian of that department after completing both a Chemistry and Biology degree in 3 years. And, I was able to stay closer to my husband, who was my boyfriend at NC State at the time. Our marriage is the best thing in my life. (2) This one was very crazy. I was 3 years into my PhD program when I decided that I didn’t like what I was doing. I was at a top 2 PhD program in the country for my field and fully funded through a very prestigious National Science Foundation Fellowship. And, I decided that I wanted to leave. I found this commercial leadership development program at a large company back home that I wanted to join. A few things should be noted here. I didn’t really understand what commercial leadership was, but it looked awesome from what I could find online. This program hires 3 people in the US per year. I needed an MBA to recruit for this program….just a few minor details. I had decided that this is what I want to do. This was completely illogical, so I took it as a sign and went with it. My husband wanted to make sure that it wasn’t that I was running away from a bad work environment, so before I left, I rectified my work relationship with my boss by confronting her about her leadership style that was really dragging me down. After that, our relationship was great, and I still didn’t like my job. I still wanted to pursue this commercial leadership development program. To me, another sign. Fast forward 4 years to today, and a few things have happened in regards to this crazy decision. I moved back to my home state to take a job that I only kept for 4 months because it wasn’t the right job and didn’t have support (but paid the bills). I found a new job at a big name company that to this day is opening doors for my career. I got a full ride to a top 20 MBA program where I lived, which allowed us to buy a house in the area. I was named one of the top 100 MBA students graduating globally last year. I graduated before half of my PhD class had finished their PhDs. And, I got hired into that insanely competitive commercial leadership development program. Now, I LOVE my job. It is absolutely amazing! That’s a lot of crazy, awesome things to come out of a completely insane decision. You’d be shocked if I told you the number of people who told me I was ruining my life when I quit my PhD program. To me, I can’t not believe that there was divine intervention there. (3) Recently, I had some horrible and insanely rare (as in 3 people in the world per year rare) things happen to me. After my 2nd ectopic pregnancy where I had to have C-section without having a child, I was really frustrated. That was 10.5 weeks ago. This time, I was begging God to give me a reason – something – that can come out of this. How can I turn this into something good? Why did this have to happen? And then, out of the blue, I had an idea to start a website sharing my stories so that others can be touched through storytelling, hoping that it could help others. This quickly grew to adding a blog to show the daily struggle of making it through life’s challenges…then to adding inspirational stories from others to create a collection…making it searchable…setting up a mentoring program…and on and on. Within the last few weeks, I’ve become obsessed with this idea. I bought a website and started blogging and writing down all of my stories. Currently, I’m typing this on my computer because I haven’t even gotten the blog set up yet. I’m excited to see where this one goes because I have even more energy around this than I did quitting my PhD. I hope this turns into something that can help a lot of people. I have faith that this is starting for a reason and that my last struggle was what I needed to get me here. Time will tell. – 3/14/17


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